Opposition in All Things

Today was one of those days where I felt like no matter how hard I fought, Satan kept winning. And the sad part is, I let him get to me. Honestly though, I should have known it was coming because today was the day I was supposed to meet with my bishop for a temple recommend.

Last week I went up to my bishop after Sunday School so I could ask him a few questions. I told him I was getting married in April, he congratulated me, and then I asked him how soon I would be able to get a recommend and go to the temple to receive my own endowments. To my surprise, he told me that I was able to go anytime while I was engaged!!! Completely excited, I told my parents and fiancé and we immediately began to make plans. I was just so happy because I have always been eager to go through the temple. I set up an appointment with my bishop and continued to figure things out with my parents.

Well, today came and my appointment was at 10:30. I went out to may car to leave around 10:10ish and of course, my car wouldn't start. It would turn over, but that's as far as I got. My grandparents were already at church so I couldn't contact them. Frustrated and flustered, I tried shutting the door to my car, but the edge of the door caught my leg, leaving a nice cut, bruise and blood clot there. So that was fun. I decided to call my friend Ashlee who lived in town and ask her last minute to take me to my appointment. She was a complete lifesaver to do that for me. At that point, I knew Satan was trying to keep me home from the interview, but I was determined not to let him win. I was going to get that recommend whether he liked it or not, whether I was on time or 30 minutes late (and I really was 30 minutes late. But hey I made it right?)

Anyway, I finally got to his office and sat outside while he finished up with another student. I finally got in to see him and we started chatting. He asked me where I was from (Washington), where my fiancé was from (Salt Lake), what my fiancé's name was (Jordan), what he was doing (attending LDSBC for an accounting major) and when we were getting married. When I told him we were getting married in April, he was a little surprise. Yeah, yeah I know. A 6 month engagement is a little longer than your typical 2 month Mormon engagement (if that). He asked me why we were waiting so long and all I was able to say was "I'm in nursing school" before he cut me off. He told me he had a scripture he wanted to share about why I shouldn't wait so long to get married. He reminded me of Nephi and his brothers in the Book of Mormon who got married and had children in the wilderness, even with all the affliction they encountered. So basically, none of the reasons I could come up with for waiting were really justifiable or good enough. Don't get me wrong, I know he has good intentions in "lecturing" me and I completely agree that once a couple is engaged they should try to get married as soon as possible; the engagement shouldn't be longer than necessary. Trust me, I would get married next week if I could. But there are many factors involved in Jordan's and my decision to wait until April. We feel it is best for our situation. So that part of my interview with the bishop made me feel a little bad.

Then came the disappointing part. We were just about to start the temple interview when he told me that he wasn't sure if there was a time limit for getting a recommend or not. He wasn't sure if I could get it now or if I had to wait a month before the wedding. So he told me he would find out and then I could meet back with him in a week or so to see if I could get a recommend. He wanted to make sure he was doing everything right (which is totally understandable) since he was learning as a new bishop. I guess I can understand that, but I was just so disappointed. Because he had told me the previous week that I could get it any time, I was so excited and I got my hopes up, totally expecting to receive a recommend when I met with him. I've been looking forward to going to the temple, and I especially wanted to go with Alex before she leaves on her mission. But my interview today left me feeling hopeless and disappointed and frustrated and upset and confused and angry.

Well, since I didn't have a car, I had to sit at the school for 2 hours while I waited for church to start. And in my frustrated haste to figure out a way to get to the school this morning, I forgot to eat breakfast. And being hungry definitely didn't help my attitude. Luckily, my wonderful and stable fiancé talked me through the 2 hours and helped me realize everything would be okay. I was definitely letting Satan get into my head and discourage me. I felt like giving up on everything. I know that sounds really overdramatic and immature, but it's how my mind works. Ask Jordan. He knows all too well because he's the first person I run to (or I guess figuratively run to since we're in two different states) when I get discouraged. And he always helps me feel better, whether by agreeing with me or reminding me of the more important things in life. That's why I love him. Anyway, I went to church, even said the opening prayer in sacrament meeting and tried to do my best to concentrate.

After sacrament meeting (it's the last meeting of the day for me), I went up to the bishop and asked him if he would know by next week whether or not I could get a recommend. I was expecting him to tell me that I would have to wait a lot longer. But surprisingly he told me that he had been thinking and he had decided that he would just give it to me! That was a huge relief for me and I was so happy. He told me that he needed to meet with another girl but that I could meet with him right after. So I sat outside his office for about 20 minutes and finally had my 10 minute interview with him (I was even able to do tithing settlement at the same time).

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I GOT MY TEMPLE RECOMMEND! Even though it was hard for me to recognize this morning, it was definitely worth the wait and the adversity. It just reminded me that there really is opposition in all things. And sometimes the most important things come after the greatest struggles. The sadness and disappointment I felt this morning definitely made the joy of getting a recommend that much sweeter.

Satan may have won a few battles earlier today, but I definitely won the war. Because now I'm one step closer to entering the house of God and one step closer to receiving some of the greatest blessings I could ever imagine. I can't wait :)