Well, I only have 5 weeks left in my second semester of the nursing program and only 40 days left until the wedding AND I CAN'T WAIT. Literally, I have almost zero patience left. I would be okay if I woke up tomorrow and it was April already. I'm so ready to be married to Jordan and so ready to have this long distance thing over. But these last few weeks have made it pretty obvious to me that I'm not the only one counting down to the wedding.
Satan is pulling out all the stops now and using anything he can find to ruin this wedding. He also knows how much I want this marriage and how important it is in the eternal perspective. And he would just love to see it not happen. He's trying to cause relationship conflict. He's trying to discourage my self-esteem and body image. He's trying to mix up my priorities. He's trying to stress me out and all of these efforts have intensified in the last week. Sometimes I feel like he's going to win because I don't feel strong enough to fight him. And it certainly doesn't help that Jordan and I can't join forces and fight against him together. Like I said, stupid long distance. But I have God on my side and I know that with his help I can get through these next 40 days. I have one goal right now and that is to marry my best friend in the temple for time and all eternity. And I won't let anything or anyone get in the way. I love Jordan. I love my parents and my sisters. I love God and this Gospel. These are the most important things in my life. Everything else is extra.The cake, the flowers, the decorations, the food, the outfits, the pictures, the music, the gifts are just lovely bonuses at the wedding because the temple sealing is the focus. All of these temporal, materialistic things don't matter as much in the eternal scheme of things. By keeping my focus on the temple, my priorities will stay straight and I will find the most happiness in the journey.
I know that marriage won't solve everything. There will still be trials and conflict to get through but at least Jordan and I will finally be together. I won't have to worry about saying goodbye and wondering when I'll see him again because we will be sealed for eternity. Life will seem more possible to endure with my best friend by my side and I can't wait for that pure joy and happiness. Yes, Satan will try his hardest these next 40 days and his efforts certainly won't stop after the wedding. But I have plenty of wonderful people in my life who are willing to help and love me, even when I feel like I don't deserve it.
Even with all the stress and conflict this last week or so, I've learned the importance of keeping an eternal perspective and focusing on what really matters most. I've learned who will always be there for me through thick and thin. And I've learned that God will help those who have righteous desires and who are trying to keep his commandments.
I'm ready to handle whatever comes these next 40 days and prepare myself to be the best wife I can be. It will be hard. But once I'm kneeling across the altar with the love of my life, I'll know that the ends justify the means and it will all be worth it. April 12th can't come soon enough.
