Saying Goodbye

I honestly think the hardest word to say EVER is "goodbye." I hate saying that word! To me, it just carries a negative connotation with it. Yes, saying goodbye can be a good thing sometimes. Like when you say goodbye to a bad habit, or a sin, or a bad memory, or a destructive "friend," or a bad attitude, etc. You get the idea. But in most cases, saying goodbye is usually sad and hard to do. And that's a good thing.



See? Isn't he adorable?

Today, I said goodbye to my parents, my sisters and my dog (trust me, it's hard to leave that fluffy ball of cuteness). And for me personally, it doesn't get any easier no matter how many times I have to leave. The longer I stay, the harder it is. I even get emotional the night before, while I'm still at home! That's how much I love my home and family. I even told my sisters to start arguing and fighting so it would be easier to leave hahaha. Too bad it doesn't work on demand like that...


To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why it's so hard or why I get so emotional. I think it's because I get really comfortable and attached to the situation. And then suddenly I have to leave and everything changes. That's probably it. I'm not a huge fan of change. I get used to being with the same people that I love everyday and then we're separated for weeks at a time. But I truly believe that distance makes the heart grow stronger and that you don't really know what you're missing until it's gone. It's sad that sometimes we have to wait to appreciate someone or something until it's finally missing but that's just part of being a stubborn prideful human being. I'm learning now to never take things and people for granted. We never know how long we have so we should enjoy each and every moment to the fullest. NO REGRETS.


I'm also grateful for that fact that I'm living with my grandparents in Rexburg while I go to school. It is a HUGE blessing and it makes it so much easier to leave my home in Richland when I know I have a home and family to return to. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful, selfless people who love me and are willing to help me in any way. God knows that I tend to feel lonely easily and so He blessed me with this priceless opportunity. I know He is blessing me more than I probably deserve, but I still appreciate it nonetheless. I love my Grandma and Grandpa Warren so much and I will never be able to repay them for all they've done for me. So now it's a little easier to say goodbye to Richland since I have welcoming faces to say hello to in Rexburg :)


Saying goodbye is just one of those things we will have to do for the rest of our lives, because things will change. I love that paradoxical idea that change is the only thing we can expect to stay the same. But it's so true. We NEED change. We NEED to say goodbye sometimes. Without these two moving things, we would never be able to progress or learn. And isn't that the reason we're here on Earth? To learn and improve ourselves? To progress towards becoming gods and goddesses?

As my Mom and I were hugging and crying goodbye this morning, she said, "Don't you want to just stay here and go to CBC?" I chuckled (nothing against CBC, I promise) and told her that I needed to go back to Rexburg because that's where my path was taking me. I know it's different for everyone. But for me personally, it's more beneficial to move away from home and experience this phase of life somewhere else where I can discover myself and learn tough lessons. Yes, this requires saying goodbye more often. But in the end I know it will be worth it.
I already miss my family terribly. But I'm focusing on the positive (like seeing my family again when they come down for Conference in October) and looking to the future with optimism and a determination to kick nursing school in the butt. Heck yeah it's going to be a lot of work and I'm probably going to ask myself over and over again why I didn't just stay home like my mom suggested. But like I said, change is good. Saying goodbye is good. Because eventually--thanks to the Gospel and Christ's Atonement--there will come a day when we will never have to say goodbye again.