Summer Days: Part One

Okay, now that I'm actually back in Rexburg for a while, I figured it was time to catch up on all the festivities that have taken place in the last three weeks. What a great summer it has been so far!

For starters, Jordan and I took off for Utah once I finished the semester so we could be in Salt Lake City for the annual Pioneer Day Parade (since I had never seen it). We met up with one of Jordan's best friends who had camped on the street all night and watched the many floats slowly make their way down while baking in the heat haha. You know what the best part was though? Seeing President Monson. But we didn't just see him. As his car drove by, our group stood up to show respect for our modern-day Prophet  and as we were waving, he made eye contact with each of us and told us to sit down haha. That just proves how funny and humble President Monson is. It was literally the best part of the weekend and was such an emotional spiritual experience for me. That short, powerful moment strengthened my testimony in so many ways, and I know without a doubt that Thomas S. Monson is God's mouthpiece on the earth today. He speaks with God and works with Him to guide His church. I love that man.
                     

As for the rest of the weekend, I was finally able to get my Utah drivers license so Jordan and I could have car insurance (cause you know, that's kind of important). I'm moving up in the world! Haha not really but it makes me feel somewhat important.  We also spent some time visiting family friends out in Tooele as well as family members out in Herriman, Utah. It was a fun mini vacation and it was even more nice to get out of Rexburg and be with family again!

When we got home from our Utah trip, we quickly prepared for another adventure with friends and family. Juli and her brother John stopped at our apartment to spend a night with us on their way home to Utah from North Dakota and then Shonna and Ronnie arrived shortly after to spend the week with us! That first night we all went to Pizza Pie Cafe so we could stuff our faces with salad and pizza and then just lounged around watching Netflix and TV. It was great having Juli and John visit because they are always a ton of fun! I'm so grateful to have the Webbs and the Amparans in my life.


For the next couple of days, we tried to give Shonna and Ronnie a true Rexburg experience by eating lots of good food and going to lots of fun places. We ate at the hospital (I'm telling you, it's a place you gotta try here), Winger's, Gringos, Arctic Circle and Costa Vida. We also took them to play pool at the college, we went mini-golfing at Fat Cats, Grandpa took them fishing, they played Laser Tag with Marina we got our nails done and watched quite a bit of The Office haha. But don't worry, we also spent some time outdoors at the Sandbar over in St. Anthony and at Aunt Janell's work party which was a blast with the Ostermillers and with Ashlee and Stephen. I'm sure my sisters enjoyed their time in Rexburg cause I know I loved being with them!
   
               
On Friday, August 1, my mom and dad came down to visit! Even though they unfortunately came to attend a family funeral, it was still really nice having them here. We ate lunch at Mandarin and then played more pool at the college. I know Mom and Dad like visiting the college because it brings back a lot of memories for them. It's still neat for me to think that my nursing picture will hang in the same hall as my dad's picture only 14 years later, and I get to walk the same streets my mom used to walk with her frozen hair in the snow haha. That night we also had a crazy fun BBQ over at Grandma and Grandpa's, playing games outside, telling scary stories and watching hilarious YouTube videos. It's always a party when our family (including Ashlee and Stephen) gets together.

Saturday was mostly spent at the funeral with lots and lots of family. Even though we'll all miss Grandma Verda Merkley, we know she's having a blast up in Heaven with her husband, parents and siblings. I love Mormon funerals because instead of being really sad and heartbreaking, they always feel like a giant family reunion celebration full of happy laughter, funny stories and yummy food haha. I absolutely love being a Warren and continuing the legacy that name carries. After the funeral, we spent more time playing games, including a family game of volleyball in the yard, and ended the night with "The Avengers." Jordan and I really enjoyed having Mom and Dad visit and finally be able to see our first apartment!
             
Mom and Dad left on Sunday while we went to church. When we got home, Jordan suddenly had a crazy attack of itchiness from his sunburn so we spent some time taking care of that and then Ronnie and I played cards while he slept (thanks to the Benadryl I gave him haha). Keeping with tradition, we made a giant Sunday dinner with lots of good food and watched "Mrs. Doubtfire." Little did we know that the great Robin Williams would pass away a week later, but that is one of the classic movies we will continue to enjoy for the rest of our lives.
                              

Monday was spent running errands, visiting Grandma and the boys, getting a library card and renting books on CD, doing laundry and packing, and getting ready for our trip up to Washington! It had been a great week with family in Rexburg and now we were looking forward to a great week with family in Richland. And that's where our next adventure begins... :)

TO BE CONTINUED

"Mawage is What Bwings Us Togeva Today"

I can't believe Jordan and I have been married for three months already. The time just continues to fly by. And yet, it feels like we've been married forever. Crazy how it works like that. As my fifth semester of college comes to a close, I think about everything I've learned about marriage and families and how I've applied those lessons in my short but wonderful marriage. In her mission email to me today, Alex asked if marriage was really as hard as they say it is. Trust me, I'm not an expert, but I have learned a few important things so far. I told her, "Marriage really isn't hard when you both love each other and focus on the other person's needs. It only gets hard when you get selfish." Honestly, from what I've seen in other marriages and in my own, I believe it really comes down to that. When we are only focused on ourselves and what we want, it's a lot easier to notice everything that goes wrong and everything we don't like in our spouse. And I'm sure we can all agree that isn't healthy for a marriage, right?


Anyway, I've been struggling with feelings of stress, hopelessness, depression, doubt, self-hate as well as a lack of motivation or energy to do anything anymore lately.  It could be due to the fact that I've been in school for 11 months straight with few breaks, or that I'm in nursing school taking 15 credits every semester or that I was trying to work a part-time job at the same time. Most likely it was a combination of all of the above. But either way, it's driving me crazy and I hate feeling this way. I was reading in my family textbook that, "Married people are generally happier, the studies find, with greater life expectancy, lower risk for depression, and greater economic stability, all contributing to better mental health. Interestingly, when young adults marry, they experience an immediate reduction in depressive symptoms and higher life satisfaction."

So then I ask, why do I feel like this? Why am I depressed? If that's what the studies find, why isn't it true for me?

Actually, it is true for me.
I honestly think that if I wasn't married to my best friend and Jordan wasn't here to love and support me, it would be a lot worse and I would be in a deeper mess than I already am. I'm not saying marriage is something to do to escape from your problems because trust me, it is not an escape route. Sometimes marriage can be the trigger for my negative emotions since I feel a little more self-conscious at times or I feel guilty for just doing homework all day and not spending quality time with him. But in general, I know my stress is coming from outside sources and marriage has made all the difference.

Right now, most of my stress and depression is coming from my obsession with how I look. Pathetic, I know. Since I wrote the post, "My Daily Battle," back in January, things really haven't gotten any better. If anything, they've gotten worse because I'm even more stressed about it. I can't sit in class without worrying what people see or how I look. I can't look at the clothes in my closet without crying because I'm reminded that I used to fit into those clothes only a year ago. I can't hang out with my gorgeous friends without comparing myself to them and wishing I was different. I find myself crying almost every other day because of how hopeless I feel. And then I think about what I'm putting Jordan through and it makes me even more upset because I love him so much and want to be the best for him.

Alright, I'm done with my pity party. Part of me wishes I could get counseling and get rid of these ugly feelings, while the other part of me is too embarrassed to ask for help. So for now, I'm going to stop being selfish and focus on my husband because he is everything to me.

I want all of you who are reading this (especially those who aren't married yet) to know that there are good days. It's not always bad and the good definitely outweighs anything that could go wrong.

"Both the soft stories and the hard evidence attest to the fact that good marriages are undeniably worth the work, sacrifice, and dedication they require. The benefits of marriage are unique. The benefits begin at the marriage ceremony, extend into the lives of husbands, wives and their children across time, then stretch out to bolster neighborhoods, communities and the world at large" 

(Successful Marriages and Families)

Love makes it all worth it. When everything and everyone else fades away, love remains. So I'll take the bad if it means getting to be with Jordan forever.

In the words of the mermaid Aquamarine, "Don't you just LOVE love?!"

For Time and All Eternity

This week in my family class, we're talking about any challenges or trials we've faced in our families and how they've affected us, either positively or negatively. To be honest, I feel that my family and I were very blessed growing up because I can't think of too many terrible trials. However, there is one part of my childhood that I remember quite well and it's really changed the way I look at marriage.

But don't worry, it's in a good way. And I owe it all to my parents.

I can't really remember when it all happened. But I do remember a lot of crying, babysitting, discussions, frustrations, questions and everything else that comes with a trial. I won't go into much detail, because I really don't have very many details to share, and because it's not my story to tell.

My parents were having some struggles in their marriage. Being the oldest child in the family, I have that special intuition of knowing when things are wrong and knowing what I need to do to help make it right. I've always been a pretty sensitive person who empathizes with people easily, especially people I love. So it was really hard for me to see my parents struggling like this. Sometimes I felt like the third parent because my parents trusted sharing a few things with me just so I would be able to help more and let my sisters know that everything would be alright.

I remember Dad coming down to my room one Saturday morning and telling me that he would no longer be working at the hospital. I remember getting groceries from the bishop's storehouse. I remember babysitting so my parents could go to marriage counseling. But it wasn't until about a year ago that I realized how serious things really were back then. Being a little older and more mature, Mom and Dad confided in me more details about those years that really made me respect and appreciate them even more.

They told me that their marriage could have easily ended.
But it didn't. And I thank Heavenly Father for blessing my parents with the strength and faith to endure.

It makes me emotional just writing about this because I have so much love in my heart for my parents. (Did I mention I'm a sensitive person?) I have learned so much from them in just the last couple of years:

1. It is possible to have a happy and successful marriage.
2. It is possible to get through trials, no matter how impossible they may seem at the moment.
3. Marriage covenants are much more powerful when they include God 100%.
4. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is always there to help when needed.
5. Families are eternal.
6. It's okay to seek outside help for problems. There is no shame in counseling.
7. The Atonement of Jesus Christ allows all of us, no matter what we've done, to repent and be cleansed. Although it can sometimes be a long process, it is still possible and totally worth it.
8. When we keep the commandments, God opens doors we never thought possible and He provides for our needs. 

Although Jordan and I have only been married for almost three months, we've still had our own frustrations and miscommunications. But through my parents' faithful examples, I've learned that there isn't anything we can't fix as long as we include God in our marriage. Because Jordan and I were married and sealed for eternity in the temple, we entered into a covenant marriage. Unlike a contract marriage, where each person only contributes 50%, a covenant marriage requires each person to contribute 100% every single day. Sure it may be hard, but in the grand scheme of things, it is completely and wonderfully worth it. 

In today's world, divorce is so incredibly accessible and accepted that no one would have blinked twice if my parents got a divorce. But my parents chose to honor their marital vows and covenants with complete and total fidelity and that has made all the difference in my life. Before Jordan and I got married, we agreed that divorce was not an option for us. We love each other too much to give up that easily. 

The textbook we're studying in class right now teaches us that when a couple makes the conscious decision to stay together, there are three vital areas to focus on: healing the past, strengthening the present, and enriching the future. I can personally say that I have seen my parents do all of this in their marriage. And it is something I intend to apply during my own marriage when the need arises. 

There are certain acceptable situations that call for divorce and I completely understand that. But President Gordon B. Hinckley, a former prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, offered this bit of insight: "The first step is not separation but reformation. Under the law of the Lord, a marriage, like a human life, is a precious living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again and again. The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us."

                                                         

My parents did not give up. they sought the Lord and poured their hearts out to him in tears and prayer. They offered up their marriage into the hands of Him who knows all and knows best. Like another prophet once said, "Whatever Jesus lays his hands on lives."

*View or read the entire talk here: General Conference- Reading the Scriptures

I love my parents and look up to them more than anything in the world. Their unwavering faith is a beacon of light in a world of confusion and darkness. It is my goal to build an eternal marriage with Jordan that will stand the tests of time and carry on into an eternity of never-ending joy and happiness. And I know this is possible because all things are possible with God.

There is so much more that can be said about this topic but I'll leave it up to the experts. I have personally read these talks and can testify of their truth. Please take the time to read them if you can!

*Divorce

*Nurturing Marriage

*Celestial Marriage

*The Eternal Blessings of Marriage

Fishing, Falling and Fat Cats

This last week, two of my most favorite people in the whole world came to visit us in Rexburg! Jenna and Lydia (sisters 3 and 7 if you will) arrived in Rexburg on Saturday night and then Jordan and I finally got to see them Sunday night when we got home from Utah. It was great! They came over to our apartment for the first time, Skyped with the other five family members in Richland, ate a good amount of our food haha and then went back to Grandma and Grandpa's to sleep. And they definitely needed it for the crazy week ahead!

Monday

Jenna and Lydia came over after Jordan and I got home from work and school, and then Ashlee met us so we could all take a short road trip to Idaho Falls. We ate lunch at Chick-fil-A since Jenna and Lydia had never eaten there. Whaaaa? I know, right? Then we did a little shopping at the mall, rode up and down the escalator since it's irresistible, and drove home since Lydia wasn't going to last much longer. Then after I did a little homework (which was the last thing I wanted to do with family in town), we played mini golf at Fat Cats and ate dinner at Gringo's. Lydia absolutely LOVED their chips and salsa. I'm pretty sure she only ate one bite of her actual meal because she couldn't get enough. But who can blame her?! We finally ended the day with watching American Ninja Warrior. Talk about a great day!

Tuesday
I didn't have class on Tuesday so Jenna and Lydia slept over Monday night. We pretty much spent the morning sleeping in, getting dressed, eating breakfast and cleaning up a little. Once Jordan got home from work, we met Grandma, Megan and baby Cort at the hospital to eat lunch. I know that sounds weird but they have GREAT food there for a reasonable price. You can't beat it. So to anyone living in Rexburg, I dare you to eat there once and tell me you don't like it. Anyway, we then proceeded to go bowling at Fat Cats and spent quite a bit of money at the arcade haha. But it was really fun and we got to play with a baby so it was totally worth it. The girls and Jordan played some Nintendo while I studied nursing and then we made spaghetti for dinner and watched America's Got Talent. It was a great week so far.

Wednesday
Our activities that day started a little later because of classes and work but we still had fun! Jordan went fishing with Grandpa, the girls and Derek and Kyle while I stayed home to study and do homework. Apparently the fish didn't feel like biting very much that day but that's fishing for you. So we decided to go to Pizza Pie Cafe for dinner and stuff our faces with delicious food. But since Lydia isn't a big fan of pizza, she decided to just eat a salad composed of spinach, boiled eggs and ranch haha. Isn't she cute? It was good to just sit, eat, talk and laugh with family and get away from the stress of work and school.  Great end to a great day.

Thursday
Well this was probably my least favorite day for two reasons:
1. I had a twelve hour clinical so I pretty much spent all day at the hospital. And even though I really love working there, it was a little frustrating because I wanted to be spending time with my family.
2. Jenna fell off a horse and got a mini concussion. It was one of the scariest moments ever. But we'll get to that.
After I got home from clinical, Jordan and I met everyone at Porter Park for Beehive's annual picnic. We watched Lydia and Megan try to knock each other off pedestals and then went over to Grandma and Grandpa's to ride horses. Ashlee, Stephen and their dog Roxy even came over to join us! But it was all fun and games until Jenna's horse decided to start trotting and then bounce her off. It was terrifying to see her faceplant into the ground and not move for a second. At that moment, every possible worst scenario was running through my mind. But fortunately, she only came away with some sweet bruises and scrapes and a few sore muscles. We aren't sure, but we think she got a mild concussion because she couldn't remember anything about the accident and her head hurt pretty bad (no pupil changes or loss of consciousness though which was good). She was pretty shaken up by everything, especially by the fact that she couldn't remember anything. So I asked her if she would like a blessing of comfort and healing and she said yes. Jordan blessed her that everything would be fine, she would be at peace and that she wouldn't suffer any serious or future problems from the accident. It was a really sweet moment and I could tell Jenna felt much better from it. We decided to go get some food to eat and then went back to our apartment and watched "Dumb and Dumber" and basically pee'd our pants laughing. Too much info? Well if you've ever seen the movie then you can agree it's one of the most hilariously stupid movies out there. You can't help it because it's a classic. Looking back at everything that happened, it's obvious that God and a few others were looking out for us. And for that I am extremely grateful.

Friday
For the first part of the day I was extremely stressed and nervous. But once I took my nursing test and realized I had passed, all was well with the world! Haha I know that sounds pathetic but I can name probably twenty people who agree with me. Anyway, we ate lunch at Arctic Circle (since there aren't any in the Tri-Cities), played some Nintendo, watched some Office and suffered through the drenching rain to walk around campus. After getting a few things at the bookstore, we played a little pool and ping pong at the school! I think they really enjoyed that. Then we decided to eat dinner at Wingers (which I think was Lydia's tenth chicken meal for the week? What can I say, she loves chicken) and hung out at Grandma and Grandpa's for awhile. The girls decided to spend the night at our apartment and end the day with watching YouTube videos while I studied pathophysiology. Our great week was unfortunately coming to an end.

Saturday
After sleeping in a little, I took Lydia and Megan with me to the school while I practiced a few nursing skills in the lab and took a test. They wanted to come with me because they really wanted to play pool while I took my test haha. Might as well take advantage of the free stuff, right? Then we went home, watched more of The Office and ate my homemade Mexican casserole for lunch. I had to do more homework stuff so Jordan played Nintendo with them. Now that I'm actually writing this out, all of the days are starting to sound the same haha. But I guess that happens during the summer. Anyway, we met the rest of the cousins to go fishing and actually caught some! Megan caught one, Derek caught a couple, and Lydia even caught one. It was a proud big sister moment cause I just know she got her awesome skills from me. After packing all of their stuff up, we ordered pizza at eleven at night and watched one last Office episode before going to bed. It was hard because I didn't want the week to end and I didn't want to say goodbye in the morning.

But sadly, all good things in this earthly life must come to an end and we waved goodbye as two of my most favorite people in the world drove away. Luckily, we'll see them again in a month when we go up for Silverwood! Looking back on on the week, I think it's safe to say that we participated in some "wholesome recreational activities" which the prophets teach us are an important foundation to successful marriages and families.

*If you want to learn more about that, you can read "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"  at https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Today's society offers a lot of distractions that tend to compete with family time. Many people think that they need to spend hours and hours at work trying to make money so they can have nice things and go nice places with their family. Ironically, they end up spending most of their life away from their family. But in my opinion, this world would be a lot better off if more people understood that it's even more important to focus their time and energy on spending a balanced amount of quality time with their family. At first, I kept telling myself that my sisters chose the worst possible week of the semester to visit since I had two major tests, clinical and competency to prepare for. But now I realize that their timing was perfect because their company was exactly what I needed to get through the stress. They made the week much more enjoyable and manageable; they helped me learn how to balance my time and remember what's important in life.

After reading this blog post, I'm sure you can agree that we didn't do very many extravagant things this week. But we spent quality time together, made memories, played games that made us work together, laughed, prayed together and overall, became closer as a family. I'm so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ which teaches us how to prioritize our time and reminds us to keep an eternal perspective of what really matters most.

525,600 Minutes

About two weeks ago, Jordan and I ventured our way up to the Tri-Cities (Washington) to celebrate with Jenna as she graduated from high school! This was our second year in a row doing this and the third high school graduation in a row for our family. Crazy, right? One of my former high school teachers joked that my family would probably show up to graduation next year because we forgot someone wasn't graduating haha. 

Anyway, we kept up with the tradition of attending Lydia's third grade field day in the morning and watching her play around with her friends.Then later that night, a large group of us (about 20 or so family members) gathered at the Toyota center to cheer on Jenna as her name was called and she officially graduated. It was a blast! Jordan and I even joined Mom and Dad in helping at the Senior Party until 4:30 that morning! It was a crazy weekend with family and it certainly didn't last long enough.We'll just have to make it a yearly tradition even if no one's graduating!

Looking back through the last year it's crazy to think how much everyone has changed and everything that's happened in such a short amount of time. Just like the popular show tune from the musical Rent explains, there are only 525,600 minutes in a year. It might sound like a lot, but it's really not when we consider everything that could happen in such a short amount of time.

So what's happened in the last 525,600 minutes of my life? Quite a bit actually. Since the last high school graduation:

I started the nursing program at BYU-Idaho (and I only have six months left until I graduate)

Jordan and I got engaged and then married six months later

Alex received her mission call to central Salt Lake City and then entered the mission field about five months later

Jordan and I spent our first Thanksgiving in Utah and our first Christmas and New Year's together in Washington

Sammie turned 16

Shonna started her first year at middle school

Ronnie finished her last year at middle school

Lydia was baptized

Mom and Dad celebrated their 21st anniversary

Jenna (as well as three of her cousins) graduated from high school

Jordan and I moved into our first apartment together in Rexburg

I started a job at the Homestead Assisted Living nursing home

Now obviously, a lot more happened within the last year but those were the major events that I could remember. And interestingly enough, they were all about family (in some way or another). So that just means that in the end, family is what really matters. Sure, there may be activities or materialistic things that seem important and significant at the time, but sooner or later they fade away.

My grandparents gave our family a plaque for one of my parents' anniversaries and it's basically become our family motto. The plaque reads:

"What matters most is what lasts the longest and families are forever" (M. Russell Ballard)

In today's world full of distractions, it's even more important to remember our priorities and focus our time on the things that will last the longest and bring us the most happiness. This may present an even harder challenge since many of us are used to the instant gratification of today's modern advances which don't force us to be patient. But through personal experience, I've learned that the best things come to those who wait.

We never know how long each of us has here on earth. Our lives could end at any time. Through Christ's Atonement and His Gospel we can live with our families forever. But now is the time for us to strengthen those relationships and prove to God that we are worthy of that eternal blessing. We only have so many minutes in this life time to tell our family that we love them. So why waste any of them?

Honestly, I am quite pleased with the last 525,600 minutes. And I can't wait to see what happens next.