2016 in Review

Well I decided to revisit my blog today and realized that I enjoyed reading back on everything we did in 2015. So I figured I would write another post highlighting the fun things we did last year. It probably won't be as detailed since I can't remember every little thing, but if you're reading this and remember something we did together please let me know so I can include it!

Here are some of the memories I can recall:

• Celebrated New Year's with Jason, Derek, Kyle and Megan (and a giant Big Daddy's pizza haha)
• Took a weekend trip up to Rexburg in March just to visit and go shooting
  
• Trained a new coworker who is now one of my best friends at work
• Flew to California in April for a getaway/2nd Anniversary celebration and spent 1 day in Hollywood, 2 days at Disneyland, drove to the beach and went to an Angel's game (Jordan's first MLB game)
  
  
  
  
• Went wedding dress shopping with Alex here in Utah
  
• Flew up to Washington at the end of April for Alex's bridal shower/bachelorette party and bridal pictures before she left for Brazil
  
  
  
  
• Mom and Jenna visited in May so we could sing in Sacrament meeting and then the lady called the night before saying she double-booked musical performances and we would have to reschedule...
• Had family pictures taken by my wonderful friend Whitney
  
• Joined Mary Kay (and didn't do much from there haha)
  
• Celebrated Megan's birthday at Cheesecake Factory
  
• Flew up to Washington again in June for Sammie's high school and seminary graduation and to help out with BINGO at the graduation party
  
  
  
• Went to Applebee's with the girls and Dallin for half-price appetizers like we always do
  
  
  
  
  
  
• And of course we ate at Frost Me Sweet and Shanghai because we had to 
  
• Spent lots of time with Janell and Kyle while they came down for his wrist surgeries/check-ups
  
• Donated some more blood
  
• Had Shonna and Lydia fly down by themselves to visit
  
• Played a lot of Call of Duty on our new Playstation 4 haha
• Bought our first gun!
  
• Drove up to Rexburg for Derek's mission farewell (and Big Jud's) in July and then again just for fun (and to shoot our new gun)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Jordan quit working at Harmon's (finally) and started another part-time job
• Switched from working nights to the day shift at work!
• Became friends with one of my favorite patients at work and helped her learn about the Gospel (we have some really neat stories and experiences if you want to hear more about that)
• Won the cutest baby contest at work haha
  
• Celebrated Jordan's 25th birthday in September
  
• Went to a Jazz game with Shonna, Lydia and Jenna
  
• Celebrated my 23rd birthday in October
• Mom, Ronnie and Lydia flew down for a Pentatonix concert and just to hang out
  
• Went to Frightmares for the first time with Kallen and Hayley
  
• Celebrated Halloween with Kallen and Hayley as well by decorating cookies, carving pumpkins and watching movies
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Helped Jordan with tons of homework while he finished three more semesters at LDSBC
  
  
  
  
• Participated in our first Primary Program in November
• Played football on Thanksgiving with Kallen and Beaux
  
• Cooked our first giant Thanksgiving feast since my family flew down this year
• Bought new iPhone 7's and went black Friday shopping
• Decorated for Christmas again
  
• Got a birth control implant put in my arm in December (that was fun and not painful at all...)
  
• Drove around town to look at Christmas lights with Kallen and Hayley
  
• Worked on Christmas Eve and then celebrated Christmas with Chanel, the Stewarts and the Evans family (after skyping mine that morning after church)
• Made it through some really crazy snow storms
• Played games and ate Thai food with Beaux and Lauren (while they were in town) and Kallen and Hayley
• Went to a U of U Institute party with Kallen and Hayley for New Year's Eve
• Worked New Year's Day and ate a ton of unhealthy food that my coworkers brought haha

And that's about it for 2016! I guess I was able to remember more about that year thanks to all the pictures I took haha. But seriously, if anyone else remembers something please let me know cause I love looking back at these blogposts and reliving everything. Thank you to all of the friends and family members who made a difference to us last year and who continue to be involved in our lives. We love you!

Make that Change

Considering everything that's happened since my last blog post (which I believe was like 8 months ago haha), it's hard to know where to start. If I wrote about every little thing, this post would be a novel. So I guess I'll just give updates on the more important things that have occurred so far this year. We've been on some really great trips and have spent a lot more time with family than we have before and we've loved it! But I'll save those memories for another blog post :)

One of the biggest changes that has taken place so far was me switching from working the night shift to working days! Since I made the switch in July, I cannot fully describe how positive this change has been on not only me but on my relationship with Jordan. I think the biggest difference I've noticed since the change is the fact that I haven't cried before going to work for almost two months now! I actually ENJOY going to work. Who would've thought that was possible?!

You might be thinking that it's ridiculous for someone to cry when they have to work. Why keep working there if you're not happy? It's hard to explain, but I think the biggest factor was that I felt like I was abandoning Jordan all the time. He would get home from work or school and then I would have to leave for the rest of the night. I was so depressed, feeling like all I did with my life was sleep and work. My days off were pointless because I was too exhausted to do anything. So I would either sleep all day and feel guilty, or I would be grumpy trying to stay up all day and then feel guilty because I was grumpy and tired. It was a vicious cycle. And even though it felt like I slept all the time, I was still constantly tired because it wasn't a normal sleeping schedule and my body never could get used to it.

Don't get me wrong, I still loved my job which is why I forced myself to go to work even when I was crying the whole way there. But now that I'm working days, I appreciate it even more. It's incredible how different I feel being awake and working while everyone else is awake. I love seeing my patients as regular human beings who are actively participating in therapies and progressing at miraculous levels, as opposed to seeing them as just patients who should be sleeping at night but either don't want to or aren't able to. (Does that make sense?) My job on the rehab unit is so much more fulfilling now that I feel like I'm actually doing something to help my patients, rather than just sitting there while they try to sleep. (DISCLAIMER: I know night nurses do more than that, but I'm just trying to explain my thought process and mental state while working nights). One of the best parts of working days is that when I get home from work, I don't feel like I need to go to bed right away. I can go to bed at a normal hour, sleep like a normal person at night, and fully enjoy my days off without feeling like a zombie. I may not get as much sleep as I did on nights (since I would literally "sleep" for 10-16 hours depending on the day), but the quality of sleep I get now is so much better and it makes all the difference. Plus, now I don't have to feel guilty about making Jordan sleep alone which was also weighing me down emotionally. So yeah, working days has been so much better for me in every way.

Another big change that has taken place recently is that Jordan quit his job at Harmon's (finally!) ! After working there intermittently over the last 8 years of his life, he has officially said his goodbyes. Believe me, working at Harmon's has been a big blessing, especially since they were so willing to rehire him after his mission and after we moved back from Rexburg. He's made some great friends and learned some great skills over the years and I'm sure he appreciates what he's gained from his experience. But lately it's been more of a problem than a blessing which is why we decided that it would be better overall for him to leave. When he was rehired after we moved back to Salt Lake, it was meant to be a part-time job that would work well with his full-time school schedule. But for the last 9 months or so, he's been working 40 hours a week and hardly ever getting weekends off (or a day off for that matter). Because Jordan is a stud, he's still been able to get really good grades while working these long hours and taking a 15 credit load at school. He is one of the most hard-working men I've met in my life and he rarely complains about it (I think I do enough complaining for the both of us...). I am so grateful to have him as my husband, but his schedule has been killing me because I feel so guilty that he has had to put up with it. I would constantly worry that he's not getting enough sleep or I would feel bad that he had to come home from an early morning of work and spend the rest of the day doing homework.

But now that he has a different job (that's actually part-time), I'm looking forward to the little things like being able to go to church with him every Sunday, or sleeping in together on our days off (which he will actually have now! ), or being able to stay up later with friends since he won't have to wake up at 4:40 in the morning anymore. I'm telling ya, it's little things like these that mean the most to us and make the biggest difference!

Thanks to these two simple yet significant changes, my guilt level and mental/emotional health have improved greatly. And even though we're both taking some pay cuts with these changes, I keep reminding myself at the end of the day that my happiness and sanity is priceless. Keeping a positive and eternal perspective reminds me that spending more time with Jordan and enjoying my job more is worth a little smaller of a paycheck.

While visiting my grandparents in Rexburg this last weekend, I was reminded of a favorite quote my grandma has stitched into a pillow: "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."- Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley

I think from here on out, Jordan and I are going to be doing a little more enjoying and a little less enduring, thanks to the changes Heavenly Father has made possible in our lives.

2015 in Review

Well folks, Jordan and I have officially lived in Utah for a year now, and what a year it has been! It's always fun to look back at the end and capture all of the good, the bad and the ugly. So here goes nothing. (I'm going to organize it by month since my brain works better that way):

January

• Moved from Rexburg, Idaho to Salt Lake City, Utah
• Jordan started working two part-time jobs at Harmon's and National Life insurance company
• Had a second Christmas celebration with Chanel and Kathy
• I took and passed the NCLEX exam

February

• I received my official RN license
• Lots of job hunting for me
• Celebrated Valentine's Day with the Jameson family
• We received our first church calling as Primary 5 teachers

March

• I got a job at the University of Utah hospital
• Bought a new set of couches (our first big purchase together)
• Drove to Washington for the girls' spring break
• Celebrated Mom's and Grandma Shaftoe's and Grandpa Warren's birthdays
• Gave our first Sacrament meeting talks as a couple in church
• Jordan and I donated blood

April

• Celebrated our one year wedding anniversary
• Celebrated Easter with the Amparans/Webbs
• Bought our first car (2012 Hyundai Sonata)
• Celebrated Jenna's and Lydia's birthdays

May

• Jenna flew down for free to visit (since Dad got a new job at the airport)
• Attended a few of Kyle's baseball games here in Salt Lake
• Celebrated Sam's birthday
• Attended Beaux and Lauren's wedding
• Played the piano in Sacrament meeting for the first time in forever
• Watched "Avengers 2"
• Visited the cemeteries in Springville to find some Warren ancestors for Memorial Day
• Celebrated Mother's Day

June

• Shonna, Ronnie and Lydia flew down to visit
• Went to the zoo for the first time
• Played lots of games at Fat Cats
• Went to Boondocks for the first time
• Jenna and Sammie stayed the night on their way back to Washington from Hawaii
• Watched "Jurassic World"
• Celebrated Father's Day
• Jenna and Lydia flew down to visit

July

• Moved into a new apartment in Murray
• Jordan re-applied to LDSBC
• Celebrated 4th of July with Chanel and the Yenchiks
• Eric and Kyle stayed over for baseball games
• Alex came home from her mission, went to her final testimony meeting
• Drove to Washington for our annual summer trip
• Went to Silverwood with the family
• Took family pictures
• Attended the Columbia river temple with Shaftoe family
• Mom, Dad, Alex and Jenna flew down to visit
• Celebrated Mom and Dad's 23rd wedding anniversary
• Watched Sharknado 3
• Donated blood
• Ostermillers and Shonna stayed over for more baseball games
• Jordan registered for classes
• Alex flew down to get ready for college

August

• Ran my first 5k race
• Helped Chanel move into a new apartment
• Bought another car (2012 Nissan Xterra) since the 2004 Xterra was totaled in an accident
• Attended lots of wedding receptions
• Mom and Dad flew down to go through the Bountiful temple
• Signed a lease contract for another apartment
• Alex and mom flew down to set up for college
• Celebrated Grandma Jane's birthday

September

• Moved into a new apartment in Sugar House
• Mom and Dad flew down to help with the move
• Celebrated Dad's and Grandma Helen's and Shonna's and Chanel's and Jordan's birthdays
• Celebrated Grandma and Grandpa Warren's 50th wedding anniversary
• Bought a Sam's club membership
• Jordan started school at LDSBC
• Shonna flew down to celebrate her birthday
• Used my first sick call at work
• Jordan and I bought new glasses

October

• Family flew down for General Conference
• Attended General Conference at Temple Square
• Dad and Jordan attended the Priesthood session at Temple Square
• Ate at Red Robin to celebrate all Fall birthdays
• Jordan quit his job at National Life
• Attended our first BYU game as a couple
• Celebrated my 22nd birthday
• Attended Grandpa Lamar's funeral
• Carved pumpkins and watched scary movies
• Took a mini vacation to Park City-just the two of us
• Helped the Butlers move

November

• Celebrated Alex's and Ronnie's birthdays
• Jordan registered for next semester's classes
• Bought a leaf blower for the massive amount of leaves at our apartment
• Donated blood
• Lots of shopping at Old Navy
• Decorated for Christmas
• Watched "Mocking Jay Part 2"
• Celebrated Thanksgiving with the Evans and the Andersens/Stewarts
• Splurged and bought a 60 inch smart TV on Black Friday
• Attended our first Jazz game as a couple

December

• Saw the lights at Temple Square
• Jenna flew down to visit on her way to Hawaii
• Lots of Christmas shopping
• Used my second sick call for work
• Started snowing in Utah
• We received our second calling in our new ward as Primary 5 teachers
• Flew to Washington for Christmas
• Celebrated Christmas with the family and Grandma Shaftoe and Grandma and Grandpa Warren (while Alex was in Brazil)
• Ate at Shang Hai twice
• Participated in the annual Fast Food Frenzy
• Watched "Star Wars: The Force Awakens"
• Had a pizza night with Cameron, Dallin and Connor
• Watched "Daddy's Home"
• Flew back to Utah with Jenna and Gma and Gpa Warren

And that about sums up our year! We love living here in Utah (especially with the mountains surrounding us) and we love visiting family as much as we can. We feel very blessed with everything God has given us this year, including stronger family relationships and friendships. With our two incomes we've been able to do a lot of things we've always wanted to and we can't wait to do more.

Life hasn't been a piece of cake during the last year. In fact, many days it's felt like a piece of crap more than anything. But we realize that the hard times won't last forever and that this is just a phase of life that will pass. Our marriage has grown stronger over the last twelve months and we've cherished every bit of time we've been able to spend together, especially considering how busy life has been lately. It's been fun having family fly down and we're so grateful to Mom and Dad for all of their hard work that allows that to happen.

As for now, we don't have too many big plans in the near future but we're excited to see what 2016 will bring!

Happy New Year from the Stewarts!

A Weekend Getaway

Jordan and I finally took a mini-vacation getaway, just the two of us, since our honeymoon. With him working and going to school and me working full-time at night, our schedules don't mix very well and we don't get to see each other very often (if we do get time together, it's usually spent sleeping). And with other stressful events taking place recently, it was much needed to just get away and not have to think about anything.

We decided to make our trip during Halloween weekend. Since we didn't have very much time to take off, we figured it would be best to not travel too far away so we could make the most of our time. With that in mind, we decided to spend the weekend in Park City. The last time we were there was for our honeymoon but the weather wasn't too great so we weren't able to do some of the things Jordan had planned. So we thought we would give it another try and reminisce about our honeymoon 18 months ago and make new memories as well.

Friday, October 30
Since Jordan had Friday off of work, we spend the majority of that day helping some friends move into their new apartment. After that, we supported another friend at his ward Halloween party and enjoyed participating in the kids' games haha. Once Jordan finished the homework that was due, we finished packing, ate dinner at Training Table (one of my favorites) and headed to Park City. Since we weren't spending too much money on gas and traveling, we figured we could splurge a little on the hotel. So we stayed at the Marriott Mountainside resort in Park City, right next to the Alpine slide and only a few minutes away from Main Street. It was gorgeous up there! The only compliant I have is that they were doing construction on the hotel so that was a little inconvenient. But other than that it was a great place to stay. We checked in around 11 pm and just relaxed, watching some TV until we fell asleep.

The donut game at the Halloween party

Our room!

I promise he's not really going to the bathroom. Just trying to be funny haha

Saturday, October 31 HALLOWEEN!
Well, we slept in that day until noon haha. Obviously we were exhausted. But it's not a vacation unless you catch up on some sleep, right? We got ready, watched some Beetlejuice while getting ready, then headed to Main Street for lunch. We decided to eat at a pizza place (Main Street Pizza and Pasta) that we had tried on the honeymoon that we really liked. But this time, it was way more crowded with families since it was a holiday and that was fun to see all the cute kids in costumes. We stuffed our faces with pizza then decided to try the Alpine slide since it was closed (due to weather) on our honeymoon. But just with our luck, we came a little too late in the season and it was closed again haha. Next time we're going to try it in the summer and maybe finally be successful. Since that idea didn't work out, we went back to main street to join in the Halloween fun. Apparently, Park City has a tradition of trick-or-treating on main street and there were a TON of people there. It was so crowded! There were both local families and visiting families walking up and down getting candy from the different stores and even though we don't have any kids yet, it was still fun to see all the costumes enjoy the festive environment. Once that was over and it started to get dark, we decided to eat dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. Our goal for the trip was to only eat at places we had never eaten before (aka, places we usually eat at in Salt Lake City). Then we enjoyed the beautiful and very warm outdoor hot tub area at the hotel. That was the best part of the hotel for sure. We also figured we should do something Halloween-y so we watched Halloween 5 which was on TV. The only reason I agreed to watch a scary movie was because 1) I had seen parts of those movies at work since they were constantly playing on TV and 2) Jordan is just too convincing and too cute to say no to. So yeah, we watched a scary movie and ate white cheddar popcorn on Halloween, da best.

Main Street Pizza & Pasta

Main Street Trick-or-Treating

Cutest little kid costumes we saw

Easiest costume ever haha

Love this dork

Best way to spend Halloween!

Sunday, November 1
Since that was Daylight Savings day, we ended up only sleeping in until 11 am haha. It's kind of rare that both of us to get to sleep in together so we definitely took advantage of that. After our typical routine of getting ready we found a cute little Mexican restaurant in Kimball junction for lunch (don't judge us for eating out on Sunday...technically we were on vacation and we didn't want to buy groceries for a 3 day trip so those were our justifications haha). After lunch, we spent a few hours at Tanger Outlets, trying to convince each other that it was okay to buy Columbia jackets that were on sale haha. We watched the last Twilight movie that was on TV (Jordan half slept/half watched haha) and then we ate dinner at another restaurant in Park City called Squatters. We enjoyed our last night in the hot tub and then watched more movies on TV. It was just fun being able to watch TV on a really soft and comfy king sized bed without having to worry about ANYTHING. And cuddle. Cuddling relieves a lot of stress. If you don't believe me try it out for yourself. It was a good Sunday.

Lots of delicious Mexican food

Day view from our room

Night view from the hot tub

Monday, November 2
We had to check out by 10 am so we actually got up early that day! Haha. We checked out, ate breakfast at Kneader's, did a little shopping on main street and bought a souvenir this time (since we didn't buy one on our honeymoon haha. It also helped that we had a little more money than we did back then). After a few hours we decided to head back home, cause ya know, it was such a long drive back. We got home, did some cleaning and laundry, ran a few errands and went over to Kallen's to catch up on the Walking Dead. And that officially ended our vacation.

An apple pie apple from Rocky Mountain Chocolate

It was a great weekend. Even though we weren't very far away from home, it was still far enough to just focus on each other and spend some quality time as a couple without the worries of home. Plus, it was fun to go back to Park City and relive some of those new, exciting feelings we had as newlyweds. I think sometimes we get so caught up in the busyness of life and work and school and family and friends and work and school (did I say that already?) that we forget we're married and that it's okay to focus on each other every once in awhile. We see each other as financial partners or business partners or just people that live together and say hi as we pass. We forget that it's okay to flirt, to kiss and hold hands in public and have real, deep conversations with each other. I'm glad our little trip was able to add a little bit of that spark back into our marriage. I know, I know, we've only been married 19 months and I talk as if we've been married for 40 years. But I've learned in that short time that rough patches like these can happen to any relationship of any age.

Honestly I wish we could take short trips every weekend but that's not realistic or affordable haha. So until we're filthy rich and retired, we'll just make the most of the days we do have together and keep that little romantic spark alive.

P.S. If you've never been to Park City before--and you love to ski or snowboard or look at mountains--then I would highly recommend it!

One Year Older { and wiser too }

Here it is the middle of October and I just realized that I still haven't blogged about our one year anniversary! In fact, we just passed our 18 month mark on the 12th? Can you believe we've been married that long?! It's still weird for me to think about sometimes but I've loved every little experience we've shared together (both the good and the bad).

Marriage is absolutely wonderful.
In my opinion, it is so much better than just dating or being engaged, because even though we aren't with each other all the time, from now on we'll always have someone to come home to, or someone to sleep with and we won't ever have to wonder if or when we'll see each other again. Before getting married, I was told by many people not to expect things to get easier or better with marriage because marriage can be stressful. But to be honest, life has gotten SO much easier and SO much better since we've been married. Sure, we have tons of bills and we work all the time and we have disagreements and we get stressed out and we get sick. But the best part is that we get to do all of those "terrible" things together!

A pic from two and a half years ago, when we first started dating

*Disclaimer: I should probably explain for those who don't know (or don't remember) that I think marriage is better than just dating and being engaged because Jordan and I didn't really have a normal dating/engagement relationship. We lived in different states before we were married and only got to see each other about once a month. The 13 months we dated was way too stressful for me because I spent the whole time wondering when I would get to see him again and how long we would have to continue dating like that before we finally got married. So needless to say, I did not enjoy the whole dating process as much as I enjoy marriage now.

Just as we get to experience all the negative life obstacles together, there is thankfully an opposition to all things and we get to experience all the positive life blessings together as well. I don't have to

worry or feel guilty about doing something fun without him because I know we'll always be able to enjoy them with each other. Even something as little as going to church together makes me so happy because that is not something we were able to enjoy very much while we were dating.

Do you want to know how I knew I was ready to get married? Some people might say I was too young to get married at 20, but I couldn't disagree more. I knew I was ready when I couldn't picture anyone else by my side. I knew I was ready when I just wanted to be with him all the time, even if we weren't doing anything. I knew I was ready when I wanted to experience everything in life with him. I knew I was ready when I cared more about his happiness than I did my own. And here we are a year later, and I still feel the EXACT same way about this wonderful man. When you know, you know, and I didn't want to wait any longer than I had to to continue the rest of my life with him. I might have been too young to get married but hey, that just means more time with Jordan and that's perfectly fine with me.

One of my favorite wedding pictures

So to celebrate our big day, we decided to do some of our favorite things or try things we've never done but always wanted to do. For example, we started the day by sleeping in together (something that doesn't happen very much) and then enjoying a couple's massage and  boy was it wonderful. I'm so glad we finally made it happen because there is nothing more relaxing than a massage. We will definitely be doing that again. Then we went to Denny's for brunch after that even though we were so swollen we could hardly keep our eyes open haha. I'm telling ya, they worked us good and we never felt better. We exchanged gifts once we got home and they were perfect for each of us. When it comes to holidays and special occasions, Jordan and I both try to buy gifts that are sentimental or have some sort of meaning for the person. If anybody knows Jordan, they know he LOVES the Broncos haha. Ever since we started dating, he talked about how much he's always wanted a jersey. So of course, being the best wife ever, I knew it would be a perfect anniversary gift. And he, being the best husband ever, gave me the perfect gift as well. Knowing how much I love jewelry, he had a necklace personally designed just for me which included little pendants that each shared a special meaning in my life.
The palm tree for being born in Hawaii (he calls me his Hawaiian princess)
The RN medic symbol for being a nurse
The volleyball since it's my favorite sport to play
The infinity sign for our eternal commitment to each other
The "J" letter for both of our names
The musical note for how much I love to sing and play piano
and The "I Love You" sign which is pretty self explanatory
Like I said, it's perfect and I love it. Just like him.

After gifts, we took advantage of the 7 Eleven slurpee deal that was going on and enjoyed the afternoon at the park with the sun and the ducks. Then we went downtown to Temple Square and reminisced about our perfect day a year ago and took pictures to document our one-year mark (specifically for those of you who didn't think we would last this long- *cough* Kallen...). For dinner, I wanted to try something I'd never had so we ate a romatic italian dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory. It was delish! We were too stuffed to do anything after that so we just went home and watched a movie together. It was a great day filled with little things that we love to do.

Gotta love Slurpees

Sugar House park

Couldn't have such a wonderful marriage without this wonderful man being involved

Old Spaghetti Factory

Eating the top tier of our wedding cake one year later. It tasted terrible haha

And that was that. A wonderful day to celebrate a wonderful year.

A person will never be perfectly ready for marriage; you could always save more money, always finish more schooling, always date more people, always spend more time thinking about it. There will always be "one more thing" to do before getting ready for marriage. Now obviously, you want to be at a certain level of preparation or readiness before making that big decision. But if a person lives their life always waiting to be a little more ready before doing something, they'll be waiting forever. I wasn't perfectly ready for marriage. Things weren't perfectly aligned or perfectly figured out before it happened. But I knew I was ready enough when those things didn't matter as much as my relationship with Jordan and I knew we could take on those challenges together. Now that we're married, we're still saving money, we're still going to school, we're still dating each other and we're still spending time thinking about big decisions. But now we're doing them together and it doesn't seem so bad. I just wanted to throw that in there in case there's anyone reading this who's feeling this way or felt this way before. Marriage is a wonderful choice and it takes little choices everyday to keep it wonderful. It's really that simple and it's really that worth it.

So here we are in 2015. As a couple we are one year older and much wiser too than we were before-

which means it's only gonna get better.

What is Love?

Where do I begin. I had actually written a post about a month ago talking about how most of our crummy situations have improved over the months and that even though some things are still hard, they had basically gotten better and life was moving on happily. Then I realized that that wasn't entirely true so I decided not to publish it on the blog. Yes, some things have improved but there have still been some really bad days. And while some relationships have gotten worse, others have been greatly strengthened throughout the mess.

Certain things that have happened in the last month have me thinking about the idea of love and reconsidering what it actually means. As a result, my thoughts and feelings on this emotion have changed and because of that I hope to improve how I will show love to others from here on out.

I used to think "love" was just a noun. But it's not. It's a verb. Love is an action word. As Jordan and I have been dealing with family issues during the last four months or so, we've realized this more than ever.

Until there is some sort of physical proof or physical action behind the words "I love you," that's exactly what they are: words. Words with very little meaning behind them. Words that are quickly cancelled out by the lack of action that should naturally accompany them.

Luckily, there are people in our life right now, both blood and non-related family, that have chosen to love and support us no matter what. And I'm not just saying that they "love" us because they agree with us or share the same feelings of shock and disappointment. I'm saying that they love us because they've proven their love through their words and actions. They've reasoned with us to see both sides of the story. They've cried with us when we were thrown out on our feet and had no idea what to do. They've listened to us when we just wanted to vent what we were thinking and feeling. And even though they aren't always physically available for us, they've shown us time and time again that they are mentally and emotionally available to help when we need it.

And THAT is love.

Love is not deciding when it's convenient or inconvenient to be there for someone.
Love is not saying whatever you want to criticize someone and then feeling okay about it because they're family or because you've been in the same situation.
Love is not sending a text message once a week and hoping everything is okay (even though it definitely isn't okay).
Love is not just being someone's friend on Facebook.

Love is putting someone else's happiness before your own.
Love is trying to see someone else's point of view by stepping into their shoes for even just a second.
Love is taking the time to talk to someone, to just be there for someone when they need it.
Love is choosing to be there for someone even when it's become "inconvenient" or when times are tough.
Love is simply calling someone to see how they're doing when you can't physically be there.
Love is recognizing when something is wrong and taking the time to figure out how to fix it or how to help.
Love is choosing to see the positive and the potential in others instead of focusing on the bad (even if the bad seems to be outweighing the good at the moment).
Love is unconditional and selfless.
Love is physical and emotional.
Love does not give up.
Love is not just a word. It's an action.

There are always two sides to a story and it takes two to work together to fix a problem. Although we may be angry and upset at the moment and even though the other people may not be willing to do their part to fix it right now, we have decided to keep the door open to possible improvement and healing in the future. Why? One word: love.

Any amount of love, whether great or small, is enough to not give up on relationships with people who may have hurt us. Although the trust factor is thin and fragile, we realize the importance of eternal family relationships and have decided to put that above our own feelings and frustrations.

Thankfully, Jordan and I have found that selfless, unconditional love within and towards each other. We know neither one of us is going to jump ship when the ship sinks a little. We're in this until the end no matter how bumpy the road is.

Before I finish, there is one thing I want to clarify: in writing this blog post I am not implying that Jordan and I are perfect in loving everyone the way we should. If it were true, I wouldn't even be writing this. But our minds have been opened and our hearts have been changed because of these recent events and the lessons we've learned (even though we learned them the hard way) have hopefully changed us for the better. Obviously there are certain areas we can all improve in, but I wanted to write this post to maybe help others see things differently as well.

To end, I am going to quote from my favorite TV show, The Office (I know right, who would have thought The Office could actually be serious?!). In the final season in the second to last episode, Dwight is asking Jim what he should do concerning a marriage proposal. And Jim gives the perfect response:

"I don't know what you want me to tell you man. All I know is that every time I've been faced with a tough decision, there's only one thing that outweighs any other concern. One thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew, every instinct, every rational calculation: Love. No matter what happens, you gotta forget about all the other stuff. You gotta forget about logic and fear and doubt. You just gotta do everything you can to get to the one [person] who's gonna make all of this worth it."

That's what love is.
How blessed I am to have a family and husband who love me and make all of this completely worth it.